I remember sitting at a camp on Northern Ontario and I spent the last hours of the night bonding with my fellow male counselors, and I have been reminded of a most important lesson;  Something that we seem to have lost as we grow into adults or start families.  My fellow colleague was rearranging his clothes, when he pulls out a Frisbee. As I stare at him awkwardly, he simply tosses it to me and says “Read it.”  Engraved on the top is the following line “For the simple things in life.”

It was a gift from his girlfriend of 4 years reminding him that the perfect time does not always include spending copious amounts of money and eating at the fanciest restaurant to impress the other. There perfect date was simply being together tossing a Frisbee.  If these are actions that make you content by all means do it, and do it proudly.  Because as much as we say we do not like them, the material things keep us just as happy.  We fail to appreciate the smaller things in life like standing across from your partner in the sand and simply tossing a Frisbee with the warmth of the sun glaring on your body.

We have had this message instilled in our minds that the prettier, the more expensive and the more glamorous an object, the more content our partner, as well as ourselves will be.  Remember that standing in sand playing catch can lead to a lifetime of happiness and a lifetime of memories.

We often complain that we do not have pleasure in our lives, and it is because we fail to realize how simple things as such can lead to an enormous amount of pleasure in our lives.  As my colleague took back his Frisbee I simply smiled and said thank you for reminding me of how small an object has to be to give me a large amount of satisfaction.

There’s an interesting thing about walking. The way in which you choose to walk can have effects that you may not think about.  If you slouch when you walk, your legs will eventually hurt, and if you walk with a lean forward, your back will eventually hurt.  Your body may not hurt at the time, but long term it will catch up with you. This is the same with life.  If you short change your tasks, similar to the walk the long term effects kick in.

Let me expand.  By not fulfilling your tasks or your days you almost guarantee that you will have to revisit what you half heartedly finished.  Why make extra work for yourself when your time can be spent moving forward or completing other tasks? If you walk straight in life, long term your body benefits.  If you walk like you don’t want to walk, long term you will feel the pain.  The more you get used to not living like you mean to live, the harder it is to escape this habit.  This is why when you wake up each morning, live your days like you meant to wake up each morning. Assure that you serve your body and day justice by completing as much as you can in the most effective way you can.

There are some hidden benefits that do come with living like this, and I have been long been the recipient of it.  I have been fortunate in my life to meet many many good (great) people. People who have looked out for me, cared for me, and made sure that my issues were as well taken care of. As you spend time being the recipient of the aid rather than giving it, you realize that in life <strong> Good people find good people.</strong>

I live my life in a matter that hopefully improves the lives of others.  I try hard to make sure the problems and issues of others are taken care of, and if I can help in any way I will do so.  I do this because this is how I want to live my life, not for any reciprocation or praise or reward. I do this because I genuinely want to. People who live like this do so because they simply want to.

There are some hidden benefits that do come with living like this, and I have been long been the recipient of it.  I have been fortunate in my life to meet many many good (great) people. People who have looked out for me, cared for me, and made sure that my issues were as well taken care of. As you spend time being the recipient of the aid rather than giving it, you realize that in life Good people find good people. The people that are their to make sure YOU are smiling, to make sure that YOU have had a good day, their is a formula to finding these great people. It’s by acting selfless and great to others.

No one has an obligation to be nice to anyone, and most humans live in a selfish way whether they see it or not.  Society has us pegged on being number 1 and knocking down whomever to get their. But the good people realize that being number 1 is not the only motive in life.  Success is important, but acting selfless is as well.  We always look for someone to when we have a problem, but it’s about what we do when we have no problems and our lives are ok.  Are we looking out for others? Are we making sure that the lives of the people we care about are ok? Are we taking the time to genuinely ask how someone is doing and if they are not well, helping them? If the answer for even one of these questions is NO, then it would hard to expect someone to do the same for you?

Act in ways that are good for others, and others will reciprocate to you. You don’t help others for the return, but it becomes part of the package.

This post is dedicated to those who have looked after me, new friends, old friends, family. You have no necessity to at all, but I tell you I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.

This day particularly got me thinking. Why should a holiday decide when we appreciate those close to us? While I agree, it’s important to take time to reflect and credit those who give you life, there are other’s also deserving of praise an accolades.

For those people I say thank you. My friends, my classmates, my team members, my family. I thank you. I also remind all of you, that everyday should be a day to appreciate the people who define your life; the people who you can say have impacted and affected your daily actions. I assure you those close to you would feel humbled hearing a thank you every now and then, even though for the most part, no thanks is never asked for.

A simple reminder, a few simple words of praise can go a long way in not only positively impacting ones day, but the rest of their relationship with you. No one is demanding gifts, cards and flowers each and every day. The world is simply a much more pleasant place with a flow of kind words. One has no idea the effect a few simple words can make through the course of ones day.

Too those who have stood by and supported me and continue to do so, I appreciate it, and I will make an effort to remind you all more often.

Too all the mothers I say Happy Mother’s Day. You truly deserve more than a day of praise.

If you think about life has its very own variation of the forward progress rule.  We all reach points in our life where we’ve progressed forward to a good point.  It may be a new job, graduating from school, a new family, a new relationship- whatever it may be, we’ve caught our proverbial ball and ran with it.  But then something happens.  We struggle with our jobs, we struggle finding a job, our relationship ends- we get pushed back a few yards.   However, like in football, we’ve still reached that high point and despite being pushed back we’re actually ahead of where we ended up.  We’ve done something well and worked hard to graduate or get a good job.  The point being made is that we have that ability to get back to these high points despite being pushed back.

In football its a given, you’ll automatically get the forward progress rule. This is the difference in the forward progress rule in football versus the forward progress rule in life.  It’s not automatic in life.  You may have to work a bit harder to get back to your high point, but you can take sanction in the fact thatyou’ve been there before. The goal in football is to ultimately get past the goal line and score that touchdown.  Life is about getting to a goal line as well. The line is that of your personal goals.  Getting there will give you your touchdown, it just takes some persistence and constant pushing, despite the tackles and sacks that come your way.

I recently had the chance to look myself in the mirror and truly evaluate my progress in regards to a leadership position I’m in.  I concluded that while I feel overall things have been successful, I myself have been a disappointment. In life, success is great, but if the members of a team in which you lead are not fully satisfied, or you are not being an equal team member, there is definite room for improvement.

How hard is it to honestly look at bash yourself? One of the hardest things I had to accept.  I got evaluated on my progress in this position, and the hardest thing to do was to hear of all the improvements I needed to make, where I myself felt things were going well.  An important part of self evaluation is listening to the opinions and thoughts of others and not using them as a means of hiding and wilting, but overcoming and growing.  Remember, if life is a mountain, the self-criticism is the requirement to push yourself over the top.

Self criticism means we have to be honest with our-self. Where is the gain in justifying our actions and problems?. If we can learn to be truthful with ourselves, we will implicitly take positive actions as opposed to regrettable ones.   The people who  try and find a way of justifying their actions to themselves are the ones in danger of never progressing.

With this honesty, don’t feel bad or become angry for yourself. The self-criticism is about becoming MORE, and feeling sorry or getting mad at yourself will just leave you in the same spot.  No room for moving up if you’re feeling down.

The final point you must keep in mind, and something that I regret not realizing originally, is that PRIDE WILL GET INTO THE WAY. You cannot let it.  This is all about ACCEPTANCE and GROWTH and if we cannot accept the shortcomings we have, we are never going to be in a position to become future stud muffins.  (That’s a good thing.) Bottom line is that you will consistently find yourself doing the wrong things if you feel you are bulletproof.

In conclusion, it is so important to constantly evaluate yourself as it will only lead to moving in a positive manner in life and ultimately hitting that point of happiness. It is also important to remember that YOU ARE ALL AMAZING, YOU ALL HAVE THIS UNBELIEVABLE POTENTIAL  THAT YOU ARE ALREADY TAPPING INTO- YOU CAN GO BEYOND THIS…just let yourself.

Good Night!

“Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”

- Dr. Seuss “Oh, The Places You’ll Go”

As we are set to ring in a new year, the question always becomes: To Change or Not To Change? Do I set yet another useless New Year resolution, or am I content with who I am.  Well, it doesn’t always have too be a question.  You’re very capable of picking both options.

We all look for landmark days to “change ourselves”, and the New Year serves as that perfect day.  It’s a day where you can genuinely say, “It’s time for a new start”, because well the whole world is doing it too.  The difference though between those who find success in their New Year and those who do not is the ability to take the good and change the bad, or better put both; somethings from the TO CHANGEcolumn and somethings from the NOT TO CHANGE column.

There is a lot of good in all of you and it’s important you bring that good along with you for the ride each and every year. The opposite of course is that there is bad in all of you, but bad is not the word we’re going with.  There is always room for improvement no matter how satisfied we are.  Take the time to sit and evaluate yourself early this 2010, and set yourself realistic goals.

BUT HOW DO I SET REALISTIC GOALS- I DO THIS EVERY YEAR AND I NEVER KEEP THEM! I’m glad you asked:

1. We think too negative, even when forming goals.  Example- “I will NOT do _____ this year”, “I DON’T want to do ____ this year.” Instead of forming goals in the negative, rephrase them to sound positive. Example – DO NOT SAY – “I’m going to not eat fast food!” – This gives you little hope to succeed. Instead say “I am going to eat healthy this year.” While you  may not think it, the positive reinforcement helps a lot more on the implicit level and when forming goals, it is important to have them inserted in your head even without a conscious effort to do so.
2. Write them down. We’ve observed this lesson before, the more you are able to see them,  the more step 1. works.
3. It’s never too late to start them. Listen, new years may serve as a great day to start fresh, but it is not the ONLY day too do so.  If in your year you have to change goals, DO IT.  There is no GOAL RULEBOOK that states because something is written down it must be follow through on.  We live our lives with mistakes and changes, and goals must change too. The sooner you realize however, that something has to be changed, the sooner you will be able to resolve the task at hand.
4. CREATE A GOOD DAY. If I had a goal for all of you, it would be too wake up each day making it better than yesterday.  The way to fulfill an entire 365 day schedule, is to dig deep and find it within yourself to not simply HAVE a good day, but CREATE IT.  CREATE IT for you, CREATE IT for your roommates, CREATE IT for your family, CREATE IT for your friends, CREATE IT for EVERY SINGLE PERSON AROUND YOU.  No list can tell you the reward you’ll get when you do this, but this is something you will feel.  It does not matter how hard yesterday was, we have goals to achieve and as Dr. Seuss brilliantly puts it “I’m sorry to say so but, sadly it’s true that BANG UPS and HANG UP can happen to you.” He also says however “On and on you will hike and I KNOW YOU’LL HIKE FAR and FACE UP TO YOUR PROBLEMS – WHATEVER THEY ARE!”

As I end, I remind you that nothing is perfect. It will be difficult to go through each day with this same positive mentality, but you all owe it to yourselves and those around you to try.  You all are already unbelievable people with unbelievable potential, just don’t sell yourself short and live down to those expectations.  Wake up each morning knowing that this is the day you check off a goal.

I wish all of you a Happy New Years and a Happy 2010. Don’t say goodbye to 2009 without taking the good and changing the bad.

“You’re off to great places, TODAY IS YOUR DAY! Your Mountain is waiting so…GET ON YOUR WAY!”

One of the most inspiring lines I’ve ever heard goes a little something like this:

“If you love something enough, you will find a way to make a life out of it”

We ALL  have talents, we all have skills and we all have visions that revolve around those dreams.  The problem- we settle. So often, we settle for opportunities that are not pleasing and ultimately not fulfilling. What’s the point? It’s satisfying to take these less than pleasant opportunities for the immediate gratifications that they offer but the long term effects are damaging. You find yourself always using your skills and talents as a hobby where you could be using them to enhance your professional well being and ultimately your way of life.

Opportunities are ultimately not meant to be waited for, they’re meant to be made.  If you’re good at something and you love it, find a way to live it.  There really is no point sitting on a couch speculating as to why you’re not what you want to do. If you have a passion take your shot.

The great Wayne Gretzky said You miss 100% of shots you don’t take. We’ve all heard it.  Do we all understand it? It’s fine to take the second option if you’ve given it your all at your option number 1 but to question why you’re not loving what you do without giving it a shot is the equivalent of constantly making excuses.  Your life is not meant for excuses, your life is meant for successes.

With effort comes success, but with passion the door opens up to a life you can only envision.

Stop being like I used to. Stop spending your nights wondering how you can share your passion and gift with the world and just do it. Just show the world what you’ve got even if it starts small.  No one wakes up an over night success.  Start physically doing something that shows your attributes, and let life take you the rest of the way.

Just never, EVER EVER sell yourself short. Thank you to the friend who made me realize that tonight.

With love, Good night!

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

“Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.” “Well,” said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, “these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.”

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. “I’ve got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?” “Sure,” said the farmer.

And with that he let out a whistle, “Here, Dolly!” he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this One noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up….

“I want that one,” the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.”

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said,

“You see sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Think about your student peer who has the knowledge and ability to succeed, but so often finds him or herself caught up in the social life that is a post secondary education.  It hurts everyone around this person to see that a boat load of potential is being wasted and not fulfilled.  Instead of being like everyone else, give this person a reality check and motivate him or her to succeed. They will thank you for it.

For everyone out their, the success in your life is determined by your effort. I spent a lot of time today reflecting on steps in my life and wondering what my future holds.  I have no answers, but have the first step in generating one.  For all of you who are lost in your quest, here is the answer:

HARD WORK

It starts with that, and that is my challenge to you.  Push yourselves to reach your potential. Then push yourselves more to exceed it.  Then, more importantly, PUSH SOMEONE ELSE to achieve their potential and exceed that as well. Together celebrate the faith and confidence you’ve instilled in someone else, and celebrate the powers you have yourself.

To motivate is to have faith in people, when everyone else turns away.  It is a quality that is mandatory for leaders, and often a great one to inspire not only others but yourself as well. See the wonders this trait does and you’ll find everyone around you succeeding together.

Take advantage of the opportunities you have, and when you find yourself straying off that path of success, just open your eyes, someone will be there to help.